New Parents Survival Guide: Did you really want them to learn how to walk? (months 9-12)

I love the expression. “You are in such a hurry for them to learn to walk and talk only so you can tell them to sit down and shut up.” This is when those things that you were in such a hurry for them to learn to do start coming back to haunt you. This is when a little vacation away from your child might come in handy.

Eating:

It is time to really start eating. It is also time to get out your camera and take some pictures of them eating because it is going to get real messy. I am not sure I ever got some of the ravioli stains off the wall even with the Kilz® paint. I hope the new owners either have a baby to continue the mess or just put on some wallpaper.

A couple of things we as pediatricians pretty much all agree on: they should still be drinking formula or breast milk as their milk, they should not drink more than about six ounces of juice per day and they should still be staying away from honey. After that I am sure we all have different ideas on what they should be putting in their mouth. I will give you my thoughts on the matter, but caution you to be aware that your pediatrician may have totally different ideas and be just as right as I am.

Except for the above things we all agree they should avoid, I am of the notion that if they can swallow it at this age it is fine to eat it. I want them to have a good variety of meats, vegetables, and fruits but I do not have a preference whether it comes as table food or baby food. I tell the parents I want their babies to be eating only table food by the time they are a year old. I want them to be eating three meals a day and having healthy snacks in between. I think snacks are a great time to teach them some hand-eye coordination and that the snacks should be something they feed themselves.

One thing every parent worries about is choking. I think this is a great thing for parents to think about…before it happens. If you have a child, take a CPR class, you will never regret it especially if you have to use it. It is too late to worry about choking when it is happening. One thing I stress is do not let your baby eat while they are walking. Babies at this age fall often. When they fall it scares them and they will take a big breath in. If they have something in their mouth when they take a big breath, guess where it goes? Right down the wrong tube and chokes them. When giving them food make sure they are sitting at their high chair and make sure all their food is cut into little bitty pieces.

Peeing:

There is not much change here and they will still have to be changed a lot. Make sure they are staying dry. If they are wet for too long they will get some awful diaper rashes moving around so much.

Pooping:

Guess what? They still poop and it gets even nastier as we add different types of foods. As they tend to drink less fluid and eat more solids watch for constipation. If their stools start getting hard and if they have any pain with stooling contact your pediatrician.

Sleeping:

For those of you still not getting a full night’s sleep let me be the first to tell you I told you so. I am sure you are either sleeping with your baby or they are still in the room with you. You have almost gone a complete year without having a full nights sleep. It is probably time you listened to the pediatrician and moved the little one to their own room. Again this is completely your choice and you are free to torture yourself more if you choose.

You may start to see sleep terrors at this age even if you are doing everything perfect. Sleep terrors are going to scare you to death but believe it or not they do not even wake up the baby. A night terror is a sleep disturbance where your baby will begin to scream uncontrollably and you will rush in sure they have hurt themselves. You will rush in to find them standing up in their bed with eyes wide open screaming their bloody head off. You will pick them up to comfort them only to find they scream even worse when you touch them. Let me explain, they are not really awake. They are still asleep even though they are up, screaming and their eyes are wide open. They are dreaming and acting out their dream. The reason they scream louder when you touch them is believed to be because they are working the touch into their dream (the boogie man is now touching them and they can feel it). These night terrors will usually happen at the same time every night and tend to run in little spurts about a week to two weeks long. I have found a very informal correlation between parents who talk in their sleep and babies having night terrors. This is my way of giving you permission to blame the parent who keeps you awake talking for your baby keeping you awake screaming.

Bedtime rituals are very important at this age and the more consistent you are with how you put your baby to sleep the easier it will be on a daily basis to get them to go to sleep. What you give up in spontaneous living you will be repaid in easy bedtimes. Do not listen to your friends and family. They will tell you things like do not rock your baby to sleep or hold your baby until they go to sleep. Do whatever you want to do as a nighttime ritual. They are your baby; just realize whatever you chose to do you will be doing every night.

Hate:

Sure there are many things you might hate during this time but I am writing this book and it is about time I get to talk about something I hate. I hate one-year-old physicals. Parents tend to think my office is someplace their one-year-old can just run wild. They do not want them to make any noise or bother them so they give them a sippy cup of juice, a handful of some kind of snack (like goldfish or cheerios) and let them run around the exam room pushing the chairs around and pulling everything out of the table. The babies at this age have stranger anxiety so they yell at the top of their lungs the whole time I am examining them. By the time I get all their parts looked out and the nurse has given them their shots and the parent and child leave the office, I am annoyed, my nurse is a nervous wreck, the floor of the room is sticky from spilled juice, covered in crushed up snacks that leave yellow and orange powder, the chairs are in totally different places and everything that was on the table is now on the floor.

Show some respect for your doctor’s office. Keep your one-year-old under control. Our offices are not considered padded rooms for you to let your little animal run wild and your co-pay and insurance payment are not enough to cover the havoc you just let them cause. Do not put you and your child on our hate list. It is in these moments that your pediatrician judges you as a parent. Ahhh! That felt good letting all my frustrations out. Writing is so therapeutic.

The main ways they hurt themselves at this age include:

• Falling: They will trip over their own feet but given the opportunity they prefer to fall from higher heights to increase the dramatic effect.
• Choking: They will literally put anything in their mouths, if it looks like they are chewing on something they are…go digging.
• Drowning: They are fascinated with water and love to play in it. They have no fear so are even more dangerous. Because of their large head, if they get tipped up into something they will not be able to get back out. Really watch toilets, mop buckets, bathtubs and any ponds or pools you might have outside.

Tricks:

This is when your video recorder is going to get some real mileage. They are very busy and every little new thing they learn seems like it is even cuter than the one before. Most babies will be crawling by the time they are a year old. About half of them will be walking by their first birthday. They are squealing and laughing like crazy. They are usually saying at least two words (you hope it’s “mommy” and “daddy”). They can usually feed themselves some things (although very sloppily) and want to do it all by themselves. They are starting to become opinionated and want everything done their way. This is when you will have to learn to change a diaper while they are crawling or walking away from you. They usually love bath time and you will too…but know you are going to get extremely wet. There are many other things your pediatrician may ask if your baby can do, but those are the ones you are going to care about. Enjoy each new skill they learn and do not be in such a hurry for them to get to the next one. You will have a long time to watch the perfect version so enjoy the comedy of the learning curve.

Panic:

With new skills come new things you have to worry about. Make sure your house is baby proofed to cut down the worries. Make sure you took a CPR course. Have the number for the poison control somewhere easy to find.

They are going to fall all the time. When they hit their head the things to worry about are: did they lose consciousness, are they vomiting, do they act like they know where and who they are? Any of the above is bad and you need to panic and call 911.

They touch everything at this age and are going to get several illnesses because of it, especially in the winter. Worry about any fever that happens in the middle or end of a cold…this always needs a doctor’s visit as this is a fever that indicates ear infection and pneumonia are possibly showing up. There are no absolutes with illnesses about when to contact your pediatrician. If you are worried it is at least worth the phone call to see if their office thinks you need to have them seen.

Checkup:

Read the hate section above so you know how to make your pediatrician like this visit more. This visit will be different because there are going to be several things that you do to care for your child that change. Here are the main things to expect and pay attention to:

1. Eating– Chances are you are going to be changing to whole milk at this visit. Some babies will go straight to whole milk and some will be resistant to change. If your baby is resistant we usually recommend mixing whole milk in with the formula and gradually increasing the proportion of whole milk every couple of days. This is usually when we tell you they can eat anything that does not choke them.
2. Method of feeding– This is when we would like you to start wean- ing them off of bottles and getting them to just drink from sippy cups. One thing that seems to come up is the baby is not able to drink from a sippy cup. Most of the sippy cups come with a spill proof valve. You usually have to take out this valve to teach the baby how to get the fluid out. When the baby gets good at drink- ing from the sippy cup then you start putting the spill proof valve back in.
3. Safety– Baby proof…baby proof…baby proof. They are going to constantly be trying to kill themselves. Make sure you are keeping your child in their car seat. The AAP is recommending rear facing until two years of age; pay attention to your state’s laws at they will probably be changing. Watch the poisons and cleaning stuff; they will eat or drink anything.
4. Brushing teeth– The pediatric dentists recommend you start brushing their teeth with fluorinated toothpaste at one year of age. Use only about a pea-sized amount each time you brush, because they cannot spit it out yet. Try to brush twice a day but the most important time is before bed.
5. Pacifiers– GET RID OF THEM!!!
6. Developmental– They are very busy. Here is the list of things they should be doing:
   • smiling
   • laughing
   • eating with a spoon
   • holding their own bottle
   • sitting up
   • rolling over
   • saying vowels and consonants
   • **There are many things they could be doing, but these should be accomplished.
7. Labs– At this visit if they did not have labs drawn at nine months they will have a blood test to look for anemia and, depending on where you live, may also have a lead test done.
8. Shots– They will be getting some pokies once again. Your indi- vidual doctor will determine the schedule.

Kaden’s logs

May 15, 2012

Tonight I am going to clear up one of the great mysteries of parenthood. My daddy says I am currently suffering from separation anxiety. He has come up with this semi-intelligent idea because when one of my parents goes to the bathroom I scream and want to go in with them. My daddy’s book says that this is because if I am unable to see them, my poorly developed brain thinks that they have left the planet. Well my very well developed brain would just like to set the record straight and rewrite some stupid pediatric textbooks. You see my fear of them going to the bath- room is rooted in detailed thought and analysis. I am an expert in pee and poop at this point in my life. I have done them both since I was born and I have been regulating the frequency in this family and I feel that I do both of them more than any- one else in the house. Being the resident expert on peeing and pooping has given me a certain perspective that no one else in the family is privy to. I know that when I have pee and poop I see direct evidence of such an action. I have a heavy, soggy diaper in the case of pee or I have a heavy diaper with toxic goo and smell of death emitting from it in the case of poo. When the members of my family go to the bathroom I follow them in and I never find any diapers, no pee, and no toxic goo. Some- times there is the smell of death, but none of the other signs. Right before they exit the bathroom I hear that white seat go whoosh. It is my theory that the white seat is sucking the pee, poop and diapers into an unknown vortex or black hole of some kind. The reason I am screaming when they go to the bathroom is to warn them to jump up from the seat quickly before they are sucked into the vortex. I think they must have the hang of it pretty well since we haven’t lost anybody in the family yet, but I think I should be in the room just in case so I can pull them off the seat to safety.

Why do I scream when they leave the house? I pee and poop wherever I go and I fig- ure they probably do as well. If I am not with them in the bathroom, who will remind them to jump up or pull them off the white seat of doom? The only separation anxiety I have is being eternally separated from my family by the evil white throne poop/pee vortex.

June 26, 2012

Tonight I had to let my daddy have it. I unleashed the entire force of my James tem- per upon him. It wasn’t really his fault and I will apologize to him someday in a tender heartfelt moment, but none-the-less I let him have it. I’d had a long day. I was forced to go to that movie about a girl and her mom and I really wanted to just hang out at the house naked playing bongos. After that I was taken to the ball field to watch Tyler practice. Again I was denied my nudity and bongos. They didn’t even give me a dog or cracker jacks and I don’t care if I never go back. They fed me green beans; yes I was fed green beans at a ball field. It ought to be a crime. Toward the end I got hot and grumpy and Daddy was assigned to take me to the car and give me a bottle and let me nap. The car was hot and cramped. He kept my clothes on so I started screaming and playing bongos on his head. I kicked and thrashed, arched and threw my body back and forth. I screamed things I will regret in the morning. I turned the blinkers on, honked the horn and changed the radio to an AM chan- nel to torture my daddy. Finally I got so tired I drank my bottle and went to sleep. I feel much better now and I will snuggle up to Daddy and go to sleep. I’m sure he will stop crying like a baby any minute now.

August 11, 2012

So many things to document, but the most important was my six steps by myself. I am a little bit of a coward. I love to walk all the time, but I like to hold on to at least one finger. Today I took a step toward independence (literally a step) and took steps by myself. To watch my parents you would have thought I had figured how to travel at the speed of light or cure cancer. They were laughing and clapping and scream- ing like lunatics. They evidently have memory or sight problems because I had to do it over and over again. Just for the record on the scientific discovery side of the equation I did confirm Sir Isaac Newton’s theory of gravity is actually a law. On other fronts I went to my first football game. Tyler played tackle and I tried to join him on the field several times. I’m sure I would have been a great asset. I am quite the expert at the four-point stance. We shopped for birthday themes and mine will be Mickey Mouse. Walt Disney would be so proud that we are celebrating with his helium voiced little rodent. I ate at Gondolier and discovered I can dip my own bread in marinara sauce and I love cheese ravioli. Daddy and I are going to hit the sack early and leave Mommy to the cake choices. We trust that she will do a great job.

August 18, 2012

Today is the day before my birthday. Today was a big day with Nana, Mamaw, and Kathy here to visit and give me gifts. I do love presents. Daddy asked if he could take over my log so here is my daddy.

Dear Kaden,

Happy night before your birthday my little buddy. It is hard to believe that it has been a year since you came into our lives. I will admit that I wasn’t sure I would be able to love a little baby as much as I had loved your brother Dalton. I had been a pediatrician for just a short time when Dalton was born but by the time you arrived I had been doing it a long time. I wasn’t sure if after all the babies I’d seen enter the world, I would still be scared, excited, and feel the same? The day you arrived those questions were answered. I was terrified just like before. I loved you just as much. I was just as excited to see you. Since you have been here I have enjoyed watching everything you have learned and watching you grow. I hate when you’re sick, don’t like when you are sad and I really don’t want you to grow up too fast. I have heard family described as an anchor or as a foundation and I don’t want to be either. An anchor weighs you down and keeps you in one place and a foundation sup- ports you but only as long as you stay in one place. I want you to think of me as being like home plate in baseball. Home is where you start out swinging. You can leave walking, running or strike out and sit down until it is your turn to swing again. It is always your goal to get back home but it is only great if you have made it all the way around before you do return. Home is a constant and always there for you to start from and will be there for you whether you strike out or hit a home run. The same is true for me. I will always be here for you and will always be cheering for you to make it all the way home. You have been one of the best moments of my life. As you grow up you will probably hear me say that if I were to die today it would be OK because I have had an amazing life. I will always be glad my life included you and you should always know you were one of the reasons my life was so amazing. I hope you have a happy birthday tomorrow and they remain happy your whole life. I love you Kaden. — Your daddy